girls' weekend

Dad-o recently went out of town for a weekend-long conference, leaving 34-week pregnant me and Squirt alone for a treasured "girls' weekend." We've had a few of these, and always look forward to the special "just us" time to have marathon viewing sessions of all manner of super girlie shows, paint our nails all manner of super sparkly colors, gorge ourselves on all manner of delicious things (shh, don't tell dad), and, generally, just hang out and do whatever the heck we want to do whenever the heck we want to do it without that dad-guy being all guyish and stuff... This girl's weekend was extra special; I entered it overwhelmed by its bittersweetness. It was the last girls' weekend - the last time it would be "just us". By the next time dad-o had to go out of town, there would be another member of the family - it would then be just the three of us, but no longer just me and Squirt. That's wonderful! But there is a bit of loss to that, too. Everything will be different. So I resolved to make the absolute most of our last weekend, just the two of us. But once the weekend came, I had no idea what to do to commemorate this almost sacred last "girls' weekend". Really, in the end, we celebrated by simply experiencing it. And it was beautiful. I will always look back fondly on the very special times it was just me and little Squirt - and we'll have many wonderful experiences in the future where it's just the two of us again - but this last weekend marked the end of an era, and now we start to really prepare for the new addition, opening our home and hearts to little Deuce and the wonderful changes this little person will bring.

My little flower picked me a flower (well, the petals anyway).

 

 

 

Me, Squirt, and belly Deuce.

 

honey

A few weeks ago, I realized Squirt has an imaginary friend. Honey. For a while, she called everyone "honey," a cute quirk picked up from her new teacher at daycare. It always made me smile when she referred to me as "honey" - not something you really expect from your three year old. Before long, she stopped calling people "honey," but the word stayed in her vocabulary. She'd prattle on about "honey" this and "honey" that, and I just couldn't figure it out. I thought she might be talking about friends at daycare or role-playing her day, which she still often does. The realization that this wasn't her referencing an absent friend, but an imaginary and very present friend finally dawned on me after a handful of VERY tearful daycare pickups. When we got in the car - not when we left the room full of what I thought were her potential "honeys" - she would become hysterical about me leaving "Honey" behind in the parking lot.

One afternoon, soooo not ready for another melt-down, I just stood back and let her set the pace as we left daycare. I watched, finally getting it, as she opened the back door opposite "her" side, pretended to put something in the seat, and snapped the seat belt. Then, with no fuss, she climbed in the other side of the car and got into her own car seat. "What did you just do?" I asked as I helped her snap on her belts. "I put Honey's seat belt on." Ooooooooooh! Everything makes so much sense now. Everywhere we go, Honey is with us. His size varies, from very, very tiny, to very, very large. From what she described, he basically looks just like Sully from Monsters, Inc. - fuzzy and blue with purple spots, though I'm sure that varies, too. Every time we get into or out of the car, she has to help Honey (and trust me, it is absolutely not worth rushing or skipping that step!). Most of the times she uses the potty, she has to help Honey go, too. When we go to a park, she pushes Honey on a swing, and at mealtimes, she feeds Honey bites. I wonder if Honey is a part of her day at school... It is indescribably fascinating to watch her imagination continue to develop and sometimes catch a glimpse of the way she sees the world.

Last night, she told me a story as she played in the bath. There were dragons coming into the bath - "two of them," she pointed out, with two little fingers raised. These were not nice dragons, as they sometimes are, but "big, mean dragons" who were coming "to fight!" She explained that they were coming to splash us and fight us and "ROOOOOOAR" (she is very, very good at dragon roars). They were going to try and take the baby, but it's ok because baby is in the belly and she'd fight them off. I asked how she would be able to figut two big, fierce dragons, and she said she'd use her "hero superpowers!" I asked if she would want daddy to help. Her response: "No, I can do it myself. I'm strong. I have powers!" Then, in the bubbly bath, she enacted a dramatic fight with these dragons, bubbles, water, and, I'm sure, blazing dragon fire spraying everywhere. Finally, she wipes her brow and says, "whew, they're gone now" and carries on with her bath as if nothing had happened. Like I mentioned above, watching her imagination grow, glimpsing a bit of her world, is nothing short of magical.

And now, here are just a few of the many, many, MANY expressions that come with her imaginative adventures.

Her "huh?" face.

Cheesy cheese.

 

She is a scary dragon. ROOOAR!

summertime

We have been taking it pretty easy this summer, for one obvious reason (being pregnant in the summer is not fun - I'll just leave it at that). We do have a little garden going, though it hasn't been getting the TLC it needs to produce much, and had Squirt's pool set up before the monsoons came - now we try to visit a public pool once a week, instead. I think it's worth noting that Squirt is now absolutely obsessed with dresses. We haven't been out-and-about very much at all since the temperatures started climbing, though we did ride the tram up to Sandia Peak (Squirt and daddy's first time on it!) before they closed down the mountain, which they seem to do every year around the Fourth of July. Mostly, we've just been trying to keep cool at home while fantasizing about the joys of fall - roasted chile, balloons, crisp air, pumpkin everything, gløgg! ... there's something else happening this fall... oh right, and a new baby! I've never been more eager for October!

A little glamour on the Fourth of July.

She was *very* proud of the beet she harvested.

She grew this sunflower all by herself!

Bacon!!!

 

Ready for her learner's permit... almost.

 

Warpaint! And her beloved "crabby" shirt.

So excited to cool off in her pool! 

 

 

Those cheekies... <3

ten

This weekend, I am 32 weeks pregnant. This means I may have ten weeks - ten whole weeks, ten short weeks - left in this pregnancy if Deuce shares belly-Squirt's philosophy on punctuality. Deuce's estimated due date, on the other hand, is eight weeks away while "full-term" is, technically, a mere five. But I'm sticking with ten. Another tiny human will join our family within ten weeks!

So far, this trimester hasn't been as difficult as I feared. *knock on wood* It recently occurred to me that, despite my seemingly constant whining, it certainly hasn't been as difficult as Squirt's last trimester, which is a relief. With her, my pelvic pain was nothing short of debilitating throughout the last pregnancy - oh the pain! It kept me awake at night and drained everything out of me throughout the day. Every step was a test of endurance. Very early in the third trimester, the edema kicked in and quickly got miserably out of control. My ankles, my hands, even my face... I didn't recognize myself in the mirror and, wow, it was painful! Not to mention, I had every single symptom of having developed gestational diabetes, but was never tested, so never knew. I was assured this stuff was normal, harmless, and just part of being pregnant, so I didn't even know to question the cause or try and find out what could help (stupid).

When I very first noticed the super faint positive line on my pregnancy test earlier this year, one of the first things I thought about was the misery of Squirt's last trimester - not the traumatic birth or hospital stay, not the sobering reality that I was bringing another human into the world and all of the huge changes it would bring, but that last, miserable trimester. This pregnancy quickly threw me a curve ball with horrific nausea and pelvic pain that started about five minutes after that first faint positive - I really didn't expect that, since Squirt's first two weren't that bad (heck, her second was awesome!). Really, it's been one thing after another - puking at the office (or the bushes on the side of a very busy street, or the bathroom at Costco, or...), being unable to walk far or pick up Squirt because of the pelvic pain, alarming blood sugar readings... But, unlike last time, I've determined to actually learn what was really going on and manage any underlying problem, instead of just brushing it off as "normal" pregnancy problems. I think that might be why, so far, this last trimester hasn't been so... well... terrible. Between chiropractic care, physical therapy, and being veeeeery mindful of movement, my pelvic/hip pain has been kept mostly in check - it's still there, and I do have some really rough days, but so far, it's actually better than it was in the second trimester (weird, but I'm not complaining!). Because I am pretty certain I had gestational diabetes with Squirt, I have been very mindful of my diet to ensure my blood sugars stay within a healthy range, which is probably why I also haven't really had any swelling yet. So... better than last time. My feet hurt, though, worse than they ever have (relaxin, I guess) and I struggle with insomnia - not because I'm in pain like last time, but because I just can't get back to sleep. It will be hard to resist the deep urge to slug the next person that says it's just my body getting ready for a newborn... Don't worry, I'm way too fatigued to even try throwing a punch. I'll just sit down somewhere and give them a really, really dirty look. Oh, and the on-again, off-again nausea... at least I haven't puked in any public places in a while (trying to look on the bright side).

All things considered, though, this trimester hasn't been that bad. In a way, it's actually been the most pleasant trimester this pregnancy. If it stays mostly like this, these coming weeks (and weeks and weeks) won't be as tough to get through as I feared way back in January. In fact, I'm a bit worried they'll fly by all too fast. While I'm so excited to meet Deuce (and regain something of my "normal" body once again), I'm not yet ready to give up having Squirt all to myself (not dismissing daddy, but she is undeniably a momma's girl right now). She is my best girl, my little companion, the sweetest little friend (she's also a huge pain in the butt and a giant handful, but I digress), and I'm not quite ready to give up the "just-us"ness. I absolutely know, deep in my heart, that we will all adore little Deuce, who will brighten our lives and fill our family with more love and joy than we could imagine! But... there are only so many weeks left with just Squirt and every single day is so special. Soon, very soon, she will be a big sister (which she will very proudly declare), but for now, for ~ten more weeks, it's just us.

Looking a lot more chipper than I feel...