the family that wendt: what i can do

"Dad! Daaad! DAD! Look what I can do!" This seems to be Squirt's phrase of the week, right before she shows off some new acrobatic feat, or interpretive dance move, or totally crazy funny face, or... well, anything. Moreso than ever, she's so expressive and adventurous. She wants, more and more, to do everything herself, learning new skills as she goes (much to my delight, she can almost make a pot of coffee all by herself!).

With Deuce's arrival just around the corner, I see that Squirt has been struggling to really understand and find peace with the big changes. It started sometime last month when she became really, really clingy with me, which quickly ramped into unprecedented separation anxiety most days. She became increasingly worried about my wellbeing and was so positive that every time I left her (even to go into another room in the house), I would not come back. Some days she's great and babbles on about the new baby, but some days she won't leave my side. We started reading books about welcoming a new baby and what to expect, and have talked and talked (and talked and talked) about what's happening, and what's going to happen. At times, she seems to understand and seems excited to become a big sister, but at other times, she is so scared of the giant unknown. Just the other day, she told daddy she thought I was dying... All I can really do is comfort and try to reassure her, but I just don't see this getting any better until Deuce arrives and she sees that everything is fine. I feel like I'm in a strange, almost timeless in-betweeney bubble right now. Deuce could come any moment... or not for another couple weeks... I want to try and treasure this sacred time - the last moments of my last pregnancy, the last moments as a family of three - but it's hard. The anticipation is so heavy that it's almost a physical presence wrapped around my family. It's such a magical, mysterious time (a friend recently referred to me, as a pregnant woman, as a miracle, which, despite openly disagreeing with, privately thought was poignant). But really, I think we're all ready to transition from this in-betweeney state of wonder and worry and welcome Deuce into the family, getting over the intial bumps, finding our new groove, and moving forward as a family of four. Soon.